No TV and Beer
by miano53
Summary: When the whole Land of Departure is put under a fast, courtesy of Eraqus, Terra has a hard time trying not to eat anything...Thus craziness ensues.


_Seeing this in a KH parody of a Treehouse of Horror episode, I thought it would be nice to put this in written form (and seeing that no one else wrote this down). As usual, I own nothing._

_-miano53_

No TV and Beer

_Land of Departure, kitchen…_

Terra, who woke up that night due to hunger, walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. He was about to get his usual sandwich and beer when he saw that the fridge was empty. "Huh?" he said, looking at the now empty fridge.

He then started to panic and began opening up the drawers and patting the walls of the fridge down. "No, no, no, no, no!" he yelled.

The only thing he found was a note on the fridge door. "We're fasting for Lent," was what the note from Eraqus said.

'Huh? I don't remember agreeing on that!' Terra said, still panicking.

He then checked the kitchen cupboards, the stove, pantry and everywhere in the kitchen and saw that there was no food. "Where's the food?" Terra whimpered, slumping to the ground.

His stomach started to growl and a voice popped in his head. "Feed me!" the voice said.

"I can't…No food," Terra said, nearly crying.

"FEED ME!" his stomach "yelled". Knowing that he plus his darkness plus no food equaled horrors of epic proportions, Terra began a vain search in finding food in the castle. Sadly he found nothing, not even crumbs.

'I hate this…' Terra thought.

* * *

><p><em>The next morning…<em>

Aqua and Ven saw that Master Eraqus came in the living room. The TV was on and he immediately turned it off. "Hey!" the two yelled.

"No TV. We are fasting from everything…except water," Eraqus told him.

"Why do we gotta do it? None of us agreed to," Ven whined.

"This will help with discipline…And where's Terra?" Eraqus asked.

"I don't know. He wasn't in his room," Aqua replied.

A hologram of Yen Sid appeared in the room and he said, "Eraqus, turn on the television."

"We're fasting," Eraqus said.

"Well, there have been several break-ins, assaults and destruction of property around the Radiant Garden. What is odd is that the places that were broken into were delicatessens, grocery stores and pubs," Yen Sid explained.

"Hmm, I shall investigate this matter. Aqua, watch over Ven and alert me the instant Terra appears," Eraqus said.

"I will," Aqua said and the master left.

* * *

><p><em>Later that night…<em>

Ven and Aqua went searching around the castle for Terra. They searched the kitchen, pantry, his room, the gym, and any other place they could think of. Ven, thinking ahead, headed for the basement as there was a TV down there. Or, so he thought.

When he had arrived, Ven could make out the words that were scribbled on the walls in the darkness. The TV was apparently gone and the lights were all busted out. "Terra? Terra, you down here," Ven said.

He then heard the sound of footsteps coming from behind him and thought it was Aqua. Oh, how wrong he was.

Ven looked and said, "AAH!" He was then knocked unconscious…

With Aqua, she heard screams coming from the basement and headed downstairs in the darkness. "Ven…are you here?" she asked.

She then tripped over something and saw that it was Ven. He had a black eye and he said to her, "Terra's down here. I think he went crazy…"

"Go upstairs and put an ice pack over your eye," she said to him.

"But what about you?" Ven asked.

"I'll be fine," Aqua said.

Ven left, leaving the apprentice by herself. She headed forward in the darkness and came across a typewriter on a desk. "Terra? Terra. Hmm, what he's typed may be a window into his madness," Aqua said.

She then walked forward and read what was on the paper. "Feelin' fine," the note read.

"Well, that's a relief," Aqua said. Her worse fears came to life as a thunderstorm rolled in and the thunder's light revealed what was on the walls.

Terra had scribbled, "No TV and no beer make Terra go crazy!"

It was written everywhere, even on the floor, and Aqua sighed, saying, "This is less encouraging."

Suddenly, Terra jumped out from behind the furnace. "AAH!" Aqua screamed.

"So what do you think, Aqua? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of 'No TV and no beer make Terra go…something, something'," Terra said, walking up to Aqua. He turned on the lights and Aqua saw that he indeed had written all over the walls.

Aqua saw dark wisps coming from him and she thought, 'Oh no.'

"Um, go crazy?" Aqua asked.

"Don't mind if I do!" Terra yelled and started yelling gibberish. He then chased after her.

"AAH!" Aqua screamed.

She then summoned her Keyblade and yelled, "Stay away from me, Terra!" Aqua started heading up the stairs and Terra followed her in a menacing manner.

"Give me the Keyblade, Aqua. Give me the Keyblade! The Keyblade! The Key-key-keyblade! Ha-ha! Scaredy cat!" Terra said.

He then made a creepy face and saw an old mirror on the wall. When he saw his reflection, Terra screamed and fell down the stairs, hitting his head and rendering himself unconscious. 'Whew,' Aqua thought.

She then picked him up, placed him in the pantry where all the food was stored and said, "Terra, I'm putting you in timeout until you're no longer insane! Hmm, chili dogs will be good tonight."

Aqua then took a bag of hot dog buns, a can of chili and a pack of hotdogs, effectively ending the fast. She then closed the door, locking Terra in the room.

When Terra came to, he saw that the pantry was filled with all the food from upstairs. Needless to say, he lunged at it and started eating. Within seconds of him eating, he heard from behind the door, "Terra, its Vanitas. Xehanort's concerned that the project isn't moving forward."

"Can't assault anyone now. Eating," Terra said, eating a box of cookies.

"Oh, for crying out loud," Vanitas said and opened the door. He, with Maleficent, Hook, Jafar and Hades, dragged Terra out of the pantry. Needless to say, Terra was the one who broke into all those places in Radiant Garden and assaulted people due to no food, beer…and TV.


End file.
